Early Morning In this world of lost and found it is rare when two individuals find a second chance at life. And on that rare occasion it becomes one last opportunity to make up for the many wrongs and correct those decisions that altered a once pure heart and set them on a far different course. Profound words he thought, words indeed for and from a man who has experienced so much and yet now is left with only memories and faded dreams of his once perfect life. So with a smile and a series of movements, he begins another new day on a piece of land designed for the unwanted. As the sun began its daily assent in the eastern sky, the early April winds rustle through the many oak trees that define the boundaries of the eighteen hundred and thirty seven acres now know as The Camelot Farm & Sanctuary. Was it a message from above or merely the result of the ambient change in pressure consistent with the ebb and flow of seasonal transitions in nature in this part of the old south? Or was it a sign of what was to come, an omen of change. Nonetheless, today marks a cycle of change and the beginning of the long awaited healing process for two old and tired souls, of which, both have so much in common and yet never knew the other existed before today. My days are now a little slower, but no less shorter. The only difference so far is that today promises to become far longer than yesterday. My movements are with caution and concern, no longer spontaneous and natural. It takes my old bones a little extra time to come alive these days and I have trouble from time to time bending over and tying my shoes in the morning. Although I still perform my duties with pleasure and purpose, however, these last few years I find my existence far less colorful since I have lost some of the natural bounce in my stride. But, for the first time since I lost the only true love of my life I now have absolute purpose. With concern I tell myself daily, I have one last mission I must complete before joining my beloved Catherine in a far away place reserved for kind souls and once bright spirits. So with conviction and limited amount of courage, every morning without fail I walk to the kitchen to prepare a cup of coffee or herbal green tea. Standing at the window, I see some of my horses waiting for my arrival with another carefully prepared breakfast of natural oats, fresh apples and home grown carrots straight from the many organic gardens at the farm which signals the beginning of another day. We are a happy family I do so believe. I no longer suffer from false promises and half-baked illusions of the brand of happiness sold in movies or on television or God forbid the Internet dating services. I no longer seek what is offered as the result of direct response to trendy thoughts derived from those with to much time on their hands and “their” sense of “the right thing to do” mandate. Rather, I have accepted the life I now live and welcome each new day with the excitement of a child. Because, I now know for the first time in five years I have some one who cares for me for who I am and not for what I have become or failed to achieve along my path of life. No, I have everything a man could possibly want and for that I consider myself the luckiest person in the world this morning as I await my call from above. Although I must admit I do enjoy a rich cup of coffee brewed in the old world tradition through a French Press coffee maker. I fantasy myself a coffee lover. And on most mornings I am proud of the fact that I can taste the difference between a good cup of selected beans from the usual run of the mill so called blended coffee per ground and packaged for quick response. And this morning as my coffee steeps, I gather my thoughts and prepare my senses for the days standard chores. After a few minutes of reflecting on all those I have cared for and loved with all my heart during my time on this planet, I once again stand and begin moving towards the door with coffee in hand. Somewhat carefully I make my way out the newly installed set of double French doors on to the back porch. Then slowly I move down the stairs and take the short walk to the main barn that is barn number 127. Why it is called #127, I can not really say, it just sounded like a good idea at the time when we were building it and so the name 127 has stuck over the years. Barn 127 is regarded as the main barn at the farm and is the permanent home of my ten favorite horses referred to as “the old guard” horses. It is also home to all the horses that have been with me for over a year now. Those horses who have made the adjustment to a new life. A life filled with luxuries, void of harsh voices and rough treatment at the hands of cold-hearted humans not fit to live on this earth let alone own a horse or any other animal most humans call their friends. It is the one barn that represents the heart and soul of the Sanctuary. A place we call Camelot and it is the show place for those who come to lend a hand from time to time and touch the face of God’s chosen creatures. Upon arrival at the front door of the barn I can usually hear the horses making their way into their assigned stalls. As the doors swing open each morning, I am greeted with nickering and prancing from all the geldings and some of the more animated mares – my special girls as I refer to them these days. Now breakfast is a special treat for them, consisting of triple cleaned racehorse oats grown on the farm and cleaned the old faction way that is with pride and purpose and not with speed and profit. Then we add a few chopped carrots, usually thirty pieces to be exact and they too are grown and collected from the many organic gardens on the farm. And finally, each breakfast is topped off with a few small slices of apples also produced and collected from the many standing orchards that carefully line the boundaries in the far western sector of the farm. I am always amazed how quickly a new rescued horse adjusts to its breakfast and consistent feeding schedule. Although in the beginning many of them didn’t know what an apple or a few cut up carrots were, but as time passed they learn very quickly. And it didn’t take long for them to realize a good meal is always offered in the morning and at night and of course lets not forget, after bedtime a late night snack is added just prior to saying good night and turning out the lights for the evening. The time is now 05:15am. The sun is just about ready to emerge from the horizon thus signaling a new day on the farm. The birds gather around and begin their daily ritual as well, darting in and out searching for food and stopping to admire the view as they too welcome a new day. Then as if on queue, I hear an old pickup truck approaching the farm from the south. And of course, I stop and watch as it makes the turn into the driveway. As it begins it’s accent up the long and winding drive, I begin to smile and then eventually it stops near the western side of the main barn number 127. Out steps a young child, a little girl of fifteen and one-half years old, thank you please, with a long and shinning blonde pony tail sticking out the back of her old University of Kentucky ball cap. She is a sight for these old eyes of mine. And as she approaches she says, “Why didn’t you wait for me Taylor?” I usually smile at her and answer with a grin with something terse and snappy such as: “I didn’t know if you would make it today their missy.” She grins and then gives me a big hug and we turn and head off to begin the day. Her name is Connie St Cloud. She lives down the road not to far as the crow flies. However, if you were looking for her house you would cross Chapman’s Creek then go past three farms or four miles down the road then on the south side of old Anderson Street, that seems to always be over looked when it comes to county maintenance, you’ll see her mothers farm. I guess it is best though, because if the street ever was paved and maintained, I am sure it would turn into another “Talladega West” with young boys feeling the need to hone their skills at becoming the next Dale Earnhardt Senior that is please. So we are pleased it remains an old country road with only a loose gravel base, for it serves its purpose as a place where we can take long horseback rides without fear of being hit by a car or having to listen to that noise the young kids call music these days. I would say off hand that is a telling sign of old age and I am sure for when the music is too loud you must be too old. Nevertheless, a late night ride on horse back through the Kentucky countryside is relaxing especially when the moon is bright and the stars are in full view. And some evenings we even call upon our neighbors and join them in on a bit of old southern social spirits -- straight from the stills. Connie St Cloud is a unique child. She is tall for her age and very blonde and that in it self will present a series of problems and benefits for her when it comes to the young men who seek her attention. She is bright and full of energy and has a great sense of humor, but mostly she carries a bright and true spirit with only flashes of despair and heartache. For you see, her father walked away from them shortly after she was born and never returned. Some said her parents were far to young to begin a family and others said he was not ready for the responsibility of fatherhood. While the rest of us said, he should have thought of that before he sampled the fruits of love and the joys of womanhood. Amazingly though, Connie’s spirit has remained in tact and in the face of overwhelming odds she somehow remains positive. I often wonder how she does it all, never letting her situation dampen her spirit or her love for life and animals. Interestingly enough, it only served to strengthen her resolve and put her on a good path. A path filled with mild heartaches and dangerous roadblocks due to her physical condition and the stupidity of society who label the majority with cruel words while carefully concealing their disdain for the politically accepted banter that makes network television a time to throw up when viewed excessively and not under the influence. And yet, southern nights are full of amazing ideas and some nights if the winds are just perfect life becomes a fairy tale come true. So let us begin, long ago and far away in a little town six hours due north just outside of Cleveland, Ohio their lived a young horse. She was imprisoned on a run down farm far off the beaten path. She was a princess by nature, a horse of perfect quality by breeding and carried the finest linage. But this young mare suffered from a dark and nearly broken spirit. She was big for a girl. Large by physical standards and she had the sweetest disposition of any horse I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, but she came from a terrible situation. She stood just over sixteen hands plus one. Her coat was now perfectly groomed and it sparkled in the morning light. To look at her in her youth would simply take your breath away. Her mane was brushed daily and was longer than expected. And her tail, it was rich and bushy and a collection of various colors that dotted its texture and presented a brilliant contrast to her flashy copper coat. She was the queen of the farm, the number one mare at the sanctuary and she knew it and she was pleased to carry the title. Yet she was charming, if there is such a thing for a horse. She was the perfect horse by all accounts and captured all the hearts of those that that stood in her presence. Her days were spent walking in the lush pastures that surrounded and clearly defined the core existence of the Sanctuary know as Camelot Farms. For every pasture was section and labeled for absolute purpose. She was a good horse and she was every ones favorite at the farm. And more importantly, she was the pride and joy of her now old friend, the one man who took care of her for the last twenty-three years of her life. She first came to the farm by accident, by fates right hand or maybe it was just pure luck. She was a rescued horse, rescued from such a hellhole to terrible to mention. And ever since she stepped out of the trailer, she has called this farm and all the humans that take care of her, her very own. It is a good home. A home where she has everything she could possibly ever want, need or desire. But more importantly, it is a home where special people take care of her and all the horses that were rescued from terrible situations and horrible lives with the human beasts. She was lucky in one most important aspect, for you see she found unconditional love just when she needed it more than ever. Her home is located in a little town in the western foothills of Kentucky not far from the plush farms that produced some of the finest thoroughbred racehorses in the country. And in this little town is where we find an amazing story of compassion and dedication to another soul, a soul far less fortunate than others. This one time beauty is older now and with confidence we can say she is in the final phase of her life. But she is happy, because she will soon travel a great distance and once again become reunited with the only true love she ever knew, her old friend and the woman that rescued her from a fate worse than death so many years ago. Taylor Mowen was a man of many talents and various backgrounds that to this day remain hidden from those who knew him the best. But those aspects that clearly defined him also served to satisfy the soul, and as many men of his era he specialized in the voice and diction vocation and was by all accounts a leader in his chosen field of endeavors. Then one day his world fell apart and those series of events set him on a new path filled with compassion and dedication to others less fortunate. His beloved wife for nearly forty years was diagnosed with cancer. It was a rare form that had no solution and no timetable. As with many terminal patients the medical profession simply gave up on her as her medical insurance reached the end. Catherine Mowen faced the same solution – go home and die. Lovely Catherine had a way with all animals, but especially with horses. She was born of this talent and all that knew her were simply amazed with how she could reach so deeply inside a creature’s heart and find the source of its pain or its strength. She spent her entire life with her horses and she and Taylor talked of opening a small but modest sanctuary for old and unwanted creatures that came from such pain and misery at the hands of humans. But as fate would have it, Catherine’s prayers remained unanswered until her death. Needless to say, the two of them did share an extra eighteen months working together on the farm before she was called to heaven. I believe that was the hardest day of my old friends life, the day we had to lay his beloved Catherine to rest. She like so many women was her husbands rock, his reason for living and she was the foundation for which his life and spirit was positioned. She kept him going in times of hardship and despair. She was his sounding board when the politics of earning a living became so demanding and invasive. And she was the one he came home to every night and as he held her closely, all was forgotten. At the close of every day she was the one he told, “You my dear Catherine make me complete.” Catherine and Taylor Mowen had what we all search for, that one element we humans need more than life itself -- a perfect love and an uncompromising companionship from another. And on that late fall evening the better half of his old heart was ripped out and what was left was a half empty soul that eventually grew darker as his spirit was set adrift. That night his world came to an end and there was not much to live for until he found one last letter from his departed Catherine one evening. Taylor was operating on automatic pilot since her passing. His senses were non-existent and his hopes and dreams were no more. His daily routine had some what changed and his desire to continue had just about run out. Then as if a message was sent from above he came across a letter she had written shortly before she passed away. He noticed it sitting against an old picture of him and his now departed collie dogs. They were two creatures he so dearly loved and cherished for nearly twelve years. He stood still, then reached over and touched the photographs and noticed an envelope resting just behind the pictures. Catherine knew he would always touch the picture every night before he went to bed and on some nights he would pick it up and hold it near to his heart as a tear gently ran down his old and tired face. So this was the perfect place to put her final letter, her last message to her faithful and honest husband. As he reached out to pick up the envelope he stood quietly. With the letter firmly in his tired hands he gazed at the writing, instantly he realized it was from Catherine. He could recognize her penmanship anywhere for it was so perfect, so calculated and so honest. As he looked deeply at this letter his thoughts raced and then he realized this must be a final note from her, a final goodbye. It was her one last opportunity to speak with her husband and hold him dearly if only for a few moments before she had to return. He took the letter and placed it into his top pocket then turned and went to the kitchen to prepare a cup of coffee as he did so many times when Catherine was alive. With his cup in hand he made his way out the back doors and down the steps where he found him self in the barn -- alone. This was their special place over the years, a place he knew he could always find Catherine no matter the time of day. She unlike so many beautiful women, was more comfortable in the barn with her horses then rubbing elbows with the self ordained social elite of the community. It was Lady Catherine’ way and where her only true love in life lived after Taylor Mowen -- her horses. Now firmly sitting on a bail of straw, he placed his coffee on the corner of the stall and slowly opened the scented letter. His eyes filled with tears as memories captured his emotions. He was over whelmed with the scent of her perfume as he began his journey back in time it was as if Catherine was in the barn speaking to him in her soft voice and for the next few minutes she was alive again. My Dearest Taylor:
horses, I want to thank you for a wonderful life. I am now in a far better place for my long journey is finally complete and I am at peace. All my pain is gone. All my problems are solved. My spirit is again bright and filled with the hope for a better tomorrow as it was the day I met you so long ago. For those days I neglected to tell you how happy you made me for all these years, I am sorry. I could not have asked nor dreamed of a better life than you gave me. I could not have achieved what I did without you standing next to me, keeping my dreams alive and my spirit bright with the hopes of another tomorrow in your arms. Your encouraging ways always up-lifted my spirit, your strong character permitted me to rest when I became weak and your affection and compassion were the foundation and inner strength which carried me through those final days on earth. If I regret anything, it is that we did not have a child to share our lives and pass on our knowledge and experiences, but then we had so many wonderful horses we called our family. You are alone now and for that my heart is sad as I sit and cry with the angels. Tonight my spirit is weaker, but I know you will turn to the old guard horses for comfort and you will carry on with the work we started before I became ill. I watched you in their presence and I was comforted by how they responded to your touch and your whisper. Lady Ashley more so than the rest needs you now more than ever and she of all the horses has earned the right to stand beside you and call you - her new love. As for me, I will wait for you until it is your time to join me again in this beautiful place called heaven. But please do not rush your time my dear Taylor, for your work is far from finished on earth. When it is your time, I will stand by the gates of heaven and look for you. And as you approach, and until that day, I want you to know I carry your spirit deep inside me and I now live within those memories, and that is what makes me finally at peace. So tonight as you sit and read this letter please understand I am finally in a far better place than I was yesterday. My pain is no more and I am with my mother and father and all my wonderful horses and dogs I loved so deeply when I was a child. My dear Taylor, I am now nearly complete as I wait for you to join me once again. Remember, everyday when you awake I will be there with you and every moment you are with the horses my spirit is close to you and when you finally rest for the evening my love will hold you until you come back to me once and forever. All My Love, Catherine A late season northwestern cool breeze began to work its way through the southern pasture and into the barn area. At that precise moment all his questions were answered, his thoughts gathered, his resolve strengthened and his understanding was clear. He now understood what must be finished before he can finally rest. Since Catherine’s death he has been lost, void of true purpose and absent of his only supporting true north. His life was in short, void of any meaningful purpose or cause; his emotions were absent and disconnected from his once bright spirit. Today he found his dutiful compass and rediscovered his true course that will began his final journey that ultimately will lead him back to his beloved Catherine. From this day forward he knew in his heart that everything was going to be all right, because his angel, Lady Catherine, was watching over him and patiently waiting until he finished his work on earth before joining her in heaven. Tonight Taylor Mowen was finally at peace with his soul, but his work on earth was just beginning for his mission was now clear and with purpose. |
